I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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