yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
