who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
