"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
