What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
