But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
