Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
