i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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