i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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