Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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