does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
