worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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