And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
