Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
