I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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