The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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