how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
