Sry I called you an 8
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
