FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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