He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
