everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
