Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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