so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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