I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Quick, to the slutcave!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
