They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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