Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
