He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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