So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
birth control should be required to get into college
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
