I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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