Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
