ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
