the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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