I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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