I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if only i could text you this smell
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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