I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
