Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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