haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
