I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just found puke in my bra..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
