she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
