Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
try to milk me bitch
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
