oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
