we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
