He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
