"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
