It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
