I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
