bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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