I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
