PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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