What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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