You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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