Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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