you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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