i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
