I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
